I'm an insomniac

So here I sit after trying all of my nightly rituals of getting to sleep. It used to be that I would snuggle in bed, pop 5mg of Ambien, put my little book light on and read until I fell into oblivion. For the past week or so, it's all gone out (and I mean OUT) the window!
Now I go to bed at my normal time:11:30 pm, watch Blind Date, turn the TV off, take 10mg of Ambien, read, read, read some more, get sick of reading, go take a bath, read a magazine and chew bubble gum in the tub, get out, go back to bed, take another 10mg Ambien (keep in mind a 10mg Ambien would work like a dream usually!). Read, read, read, read, read, get pissed off, go the fridge and grab a Rolling Rock thinking that alcohol always makes me tired, take ~another~ bath (my record is 5 in a single night...they temporarily make my leg bones not ache), get the magazine I'm reading all wet, dry off, go into bed, finish the beer, take 2 Valium, and now it's almost exactly 5 in the morning. So that all transpired in 5 and a half hours. It's been happening this way for about 4 nights now and it's really starting to piss me off. If I don't sleep, I can't take care of Ava properly...or anything for that matter. Oh, and I have a doctor's appt. at 11:15 tomorrow...that would be in about 6 hours. Sweet.
In closing, I would like to tell you that last night I watched four back-to-back episodes of The Brady Bunch. You can totally tell in the shows that Florence Henderson was doing Greg (isn't his real name Barry Robbinson or something?). Just by the way they look at each other and their mannerisms towards each other....they just exude sexual tension!!! Well I would do it if my on-screen husband was gay too!!! You know you all would.
Okay, I'm crazy and I'm going to try and get at least an hour sleep tonight. You know it's bad when you can see the sun in the horizon and the birds are chirping. Damn those chirping birds!!! Aggggh!