7 Years

Today is the 7-year anniversary of my dad's death.
It seems like it was just yesterday...yet, it seems like it's been a lifetime. He was only 48 when he died...and we were just beginning to get to the point where we were venturing into a more mature relationship. You know, we were relating on more of an adult-level with each other.
I try and think what our relationship would have grown into if he were still alive today. I think we would be as close as ever and he would have delighted in his role as a grandpa. I know me having a baby was the absolute last thing he would have ever expected! A lot of times in the morning, I hear Ava in her crib laughing and "talking" and definitely being entertained while I drift in and out of sleep listening to her. I know it's dad playing with her so I can catch a few more minutes of sleep (he knew how much I love to sleep).
I also believe that dad hand-picked Ava for me...and that she truly is a miracle baby.
It's hard to not picture my dad the way he looked the very last time I saw him alive (which is one of the most terrible images imbedded in my mind). I try to remember him how he looked in the picture above (at my high school graduation in 1994)...or how proud he was dancing with me at my junior Prom...or how he made the long 8-hour drive from Chicago to Minneapolis to spend time with me when I was 15-years-old and in the hospital for nearly 2 months. He stayed for a couple days and got the doctor to let me out for a few hours so he could take me shopping for a new outfit and out to dinner to make me feel better.
Richard Joseph Nessling was a great man who radiated positivity (even if he wasn't feeling that positive himself) in order to make other people's days. He brought great joy to many people's lives...I know that for a fact.
I love you daddy.